The understanding of Bah, Humbug

 I woke up this Christmas morning thinking that soon the day would be over and we could go back to what we consider normal. I am not sure I have ever felt that way on Christmas morning before.

Christmas was always a time of joy in our family. My father was like a little kid at Christmas and loved the surprise of it all. I am not sure if it was because of how he grew up or because of the season or exactly why, but he loved Christmas like few I have known. 

My family has whittled down to very few this past year. My Mom and Dad are both gone, Many of my Aunts and Uncles are gone and the cousins are widespread from Florida to Texas. It seems the only time we get together is when a funeral happens.

My son is single so I have no grandchildren and Christmas has turned in to a very small dinner for two. I don't seem to enjoy the holiday like I once did. I searched and searched this year for some Christmas Spirit and everything just seemed to make me angry. I am not sure why.

So this morning I will walk the dog and look at the lights, try and put on the Christmas cheer for dinner today. Hope for a little surprise and when son see his gifts and retire early so today will be done. Perhaps next year will be different and I will find the Christmas Spirit which seems to have eluded me this year. 

What the heck is a parotid tumor?

 I knew you had salivary glands in your face. I have always had plenty of spit to go around. Dentists have commented on how active my salivary glands were and why that was a good thing for the health of your teeth. 

No one ever said anything about tumors in your salivary glands and until a couple of months ago, I had no idea what a Parotid tumor was. 

I haven't worn makeup for many years unless I am dressed up to go out but I still use moisturizer on my face and one morning as I was slathering my old standby, Olay, on the face, I felt a hard lump next to my ear. H'mm, that does not feel normal.

As someone who knows her body pretty well, gets all her checkups, scans, shots etc. that are recommended by the doctor, I know when something seems off kilter and this little lump was not normal. 

I made an appointment with the doctor and she concurs. It is not normal. It is probably a certain type of tumor, normally benign, so she is going to send me for a CT scan. 

I go have the CT scan complete with an IV and I hate needles so you can imagine how I felt about that, especially since they always seem to have such a difficult time finding a vein to jab. The results come back as a Parotid tumor. It looks benign, small and just to be on the safe side, have a needle biopsy done. Those instructions from radiologist.

Ok, great. So those must be done with radiology at Sarasota Memorial Hospital. I got an appointment the week of Thanksgiving, on the Wednesday before the eating day. I had made up my mind because of my hatred for needles that I would simply close my eyes while the biopsy was being done. The shot to deaden my face would be enough.

But the camera was right in front of me and I am such a curious human, I just had to watch. What an interesting thing going on. Then, done. I was sent on my way home to await those results. The doctor said he would have the results in a couple of days and would send the results to my doctor. 

The next week rolls around and my doctor calls to let me know that all the samples the radiologist took were clean. No cancer cells at all. Now I had to go see a doctor who does this sort of surgery. An Ear, Nose and Throat guy. 

I finally get in to see him on Monday. These guys also deal in allergies and tubes in ears and stuff like that. His recommendation is we wait. The Parotid gland has a facial nerve which runs through it. This nerve controls the motion on the side of the face it is located on. You have one on the left and right side of your face. He said these types of benign tumors grow very slowly and because this one was not impacting me in any way, let's just keep an eye on it before we rush to surgery. 

He has no idea the worry that was lifted from my shoulders. I really did not want to have surgery. I am not a fan if it can be avoided. I still have to go back in 6 months, sooner if I begin having problems from it. But right now, I am good.

Getting older, once again, is not for the weak. Thank God I have had good health for the majority of my life. I am not on a dispensary of medicines and am still  full of piss and vinegar. I am staying home for this holiday, though. The drivers in this area have little respect for anyone else's life. 

Teachers should love professional development

 

Winter break for teachers is right around the corner. This has been a tough year for teachers and students alike. Covid is still hanging around, there seems to be a lot of anger towards each other and we seem to be even more unappreciated than ever. 

But the hope for me lies in professional development. Not the kind our district wants to shove down our throat and make required. You know, the kind you take every...single...year regardless with the same information and videos. Being a social studies teacher means we have even less available for our content. 

So around the holidays, outside professional development begins to become available. The NEH (National Endowment for the Humanities) releases their offerings mid November and that seems to begin the flow of offerings for teachers for the following summer.

I have applied for two NEH programs, which is all you are allowed to apply for and if you are chosen for one, consider yourself extremely lucky. Remember, these are open to all teachers in the country.  You can check them out here: 

I have also applied for the USS Midway Teachers Institute. Because I have switched classes and now teach those more geared to world history than United States history, the offerings for classes I can actually use are reduced. I was lucky enough to take one of their online seminars last summer which helped me in classes this year. I hope an in person seminar will be even better. (Lesson on an aircraft carrier. How cool is that?)

Finally, I have signed up once again, for a seminar at the CATO Institute in Washington DC. A lot of folks may think CATO is trying to indoctrinate us to become Libertarians. (They don't) A seminar next summer is, "Incorporating Civic Culture Into Advanced Subjects" which will tie in beautifully with what I took away from the first seminar I took. You can check it out here: 

These programs inject new enthusiasm in to being a teacher. You are surrounded by other teachers who are looking for the best way to bring new information to their students. They are from all corners of the country, from all different kinds of schools; all trying to learn as much as possible to help their students. 

I have never understood why teachers don't even apply. I love the interaction we get to have. I come back to school in the fall refreshed and ready to take on the new school year.. Perhaps you should try it. 

How much sleep do we really need?

 One of the things I miss most since entering a more mature age is sleep. Growing up as I did, I learned to sleep anywhere, anytime, any spot I happened to lay my head down in. 

I am not sure if it was because I was a kid or because I played so hard during the day, but I never, ever had problems sleeping once those peepers were closed. 

In the last year or so that has changed. Now if I manage 4 hours a night, I feel extremely lucky. According to familydoctor,.org, just because you are older, you still need between 7-8 hours of sleep a night. I have never sleep that much except during my teen years but I always seemed to manage at least 6. That has disappeared. 

This site and several others also say, "As we age, our brains may tell us to go to sleep earlier. This is likely why so many folks fall asleep right after the evening news or dinner." Really? 

Last night I could not hold my eyes open past 7:45 p.m. I had a busy day and drove about 4 hours roundtrip to see my brother and my best friend. I did several chores around the house when I got home and went to bed. After about 4 hours, I was wide awake. I tossed and turned for several hours until finally giving up and getting up.

I was wide awake even without my morning cup of coffee. So I made coffee, let the dogs out after they woke up, and turned on the television. I did all my normal morning stuff, just 3 hours early. Perhaps I will be able to take a short nap during the day, but I know if that happens, sleep will allude me again tonight. I back to work tomorrow, so that scenario doesn't feel positive. 

So I will treat this like any other Sunday. I do plan on some yard work today. That may tire me more and hope for a better sleep outcome tonight. I am not sure why my sleep has been so off unless it is simply an age thing but I don't like it. I guess that doesn't matter since it has become the norm for me. I guess as long as I am not falling asleep in class, I am getting enough sleep. It sure feel weird, though. 

Growing older is not for the weak

 When you are young, you are invincible and you cannot imaging getting old. Especially old like your grandparents. You breeze through most things and you handle them with panache. 

When I was 22, right after my son was born, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. Most people don't know that. I chose to have a vaginal hysterectomy at that time because I had no plans to have any more children. Being a single mom with one child after my divorce was enough for me to handle.

Since that time, I have been relatively healthy. I am not on a lot of drugs for any serious health issues and didn't really have any aches or pains until I went through menopause. Now let the fun begin. 

Several weeks ago, I happened to be putting some moisturizer on my face and noticed a small lump right next to my ear. I had no idea how long it had been there but knew it was not normal, so I called and made an appointment with my GP.

She felt it, looked at my medical records and told me it was a Parotid tumor. A what? I had never heard of this before. Your Parotid gland is a salivary gland on the side of your face. You have one on each side. She assured me they are normally benign but she was going to order a CT scan and make an appointment for me to an ENT doctor in the group.

I went for the CT scan and waited on the results. The radiologist said it looked like a Parotid tumor, most of the time benign, but just to be on the safe side, recommended a biopsy. Doctor called to let me know that I would be receiving a call from the hospital because that is where needle aspirations were done. 

So then I went to have the needle biopsy, which I had never had before, done. I had convinced myself I would just close my eyes which they were doing it but having a monitor right in front of me where I could watch the doctor thread a hollow needle in to this mass to get samples was so interesting to me,  I forgot about closing my eyes. Then it was done and I was on my way home. 

Now I get to sit and wait for those results to go back to my doctor so we can schedule a visit with an ENT so we can schedule a date for the removal of the tumor. This is advisable even when no cancer cells are present because they can grow and become cancerous.  ( I did lots of research on Parotid tumors)

So I continue to go about my daily routine and wait to hear from the doctor. I could call everyone I know and tell them the whole story, but that would do no good. It sure wouldn't make me feel better. I feel fine. 

I have decided that I am glad I was raised to face things with a positive outlook. If I had been like some people I know, I would already be digging my grave.  

She ordere

 

When I was younger, I was pretty geeky. I found out very early that I was pretty smart and school came easily to me. I had parents who encouraged me to work hard and I could be anything I wanted to be. I was called a teacher's pet, too many times to mention. 

When I hit puberty, my hair became greasy, pimples began cropping up and my legs and underarms became pretty hairy. That was when the bullying really began. I was called greaseball, zit face, gorilla legs and several other choice names I won't put on paper. It was a tough time for me but I tried to keep my grades up and would disappear in my tree when I got home and read books. I didn't have many friends then and when the decision was made to move back to Florida when I was in 9th grade, I was happy for the change.

My self confidence soared when I was so accepted at my new school. They liked me even though my grades stayed up. I ended up with good grades until I graduated and continued to develop my self confidence. I have a lot of friends and teachers to thank for helping me but I never knew how much it might affect those around me. 

I have said, almost since I began working, that I would not work a job I was miserable in. I work the same way I did school. With my all. I give it the best I can and I think that should be recognized. So my whole life working, I never hesitated to make sure that I my concerns were heard if I had a problem. 

I have had people ask me if I am scared I will get fired? What happens when you lose your job? What if you make your boss mad? Short story is, I don't worry about it. If someone in this day and age wants you to not have a job, they will find a way to make it happen. 

When I was gainfully employed by the New York Times Regional Newspaper Group, I did a great job. I was always there. I could do just about any job they asked me to do and they paid me well for that job. I had my whole life planned out around that. Then I was called in a room, along with a bunch of other people, and told I would no longer have a job after a certain date. 

Then trying to find a job in the business that you had been employed in for 35 years was impossible. There just weren't enough of those jobs to go around. So at one point I was a 46 year old working 3 jobs to try and make sure my mortgage was paid. I didn't complain. Why? That would not have solved anything. 

So I learned that no matter how positive you are; how good at your job you are; how much you can bring to the company, if they want to let you go, you really have no say in it. So I decided to make sure that I did have a say. My say now is, "...so fire me. I will find another job."

My son brought this to my attention last night when he informed me that he was much happier now his self confidence was approaching the same level as mine. He was not scared to lose his job because he would not be able to find another one. He said he learned that from me. I guess there are worse things. 

We need more front porches

 

I have a variety of friends, some cultivated over years of conversation and some, simply because we have something in common.

The interaction between some of my friends continues to baffle me and with social media becoming so prevalent in most peoples' lives, it becomes even more interesting. People watching, if you will, on typed conversations. 

I had noticed that people tolerate other people complaining about their jobs much more than they do when a teacher complains. If a teacher complains everyone begins with the, "You knew what you were getting in to." "I thought you loved the kids." "Yeah, but you get summers off," The list can go on forever. I posted something on social media about this. 

Normally, I don't get a lot of response to my posts but I had one of my teacher peeps respond that he didn't put up with anyone complaining about their work, etc. I didn't think too much about it; he is what I call a conservative liberal and he does like to make statements just for the sake of arguing but he is fun and I laugh a lot. 

Then one of my other friends responded with a pretty vitriolic answer. I was actually surprised because I did not find what friend number one said to be that right winged. Then, of course, my other friend came back with a "Who pissed in your Wheaties?" question/

At that point, I wrote another post explaining who each was and telling them no fighting on my page. One poster removed his comments and apologized.

As our society continues to split and humans become more and more removed from each other, dependent on technology to communicate, I think we need more houses with front porches, open to our friends, where you could grab a glass of iced tea or a cup of coffee and talk. Just talk about things. And listen. Just listen about things. I think there would be less misunderstanding and more tolerance for different ideas. 

Just make sure the ones in Florida are screened. I think we can all agree that we don't like mosquitoes.